Alone vs lonely


lonely leaf

This week has felt good so far (I realize it’s just Tuesday!) even though the days have been a bit chopped up. I met up with someone that a friend suggested I talk to yesterday and had another meeting today. That feels like progress, even though nothing tangible comes directly from those meetings. That’s what is kind of funny about this whole process – the days of answering newspaper ads for a job are long gone (though I still peruse listings as part of the process). So progress is kind of like trying to hold water in your hands. It’s there but it takes some faith to remember that it’s there.

I say that this week has felt good, and yet I also sort of feel scattered. Because my job is to find a job, it by definition is somewhat solitary. Yes, I meet up with people and have great conversations. But it’s not like being part of a team where there are always others literally around you. That struck me today when I was talking with someone about wanting to be part of a team and making an impact. The aspect of having others physically in the area – not necessarily in the room but in the vicinity – is a part of that. And what I do each day I do alone. I’m not lonely, per se, but I am alone.

I think that piece of being part of a team is why I feel a bit out of sorts. I wonder, as I write this, whether I feel less discombobulated on the days that I swim in the morning as part of a group. Does that short period of camaraderieĀ make a difference to the overall on those days? I’ll have to see tomorrow. In the meantime, it’s back to learning advanced techniques of Excel!



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